Page 99

Dear Future Jeff:

Please keep the following points in mind as you continue writing in the future.

1. Alcohol does not in any way help writing.
   
   
2. Sweets do not in any way help writing.
   
   
3. Rest is very important.
   
   
4. Food is very important.
   
   
5. It's ok to write florid prose in a first draft. It helps get all the junk out of your head and onto the paper. After that, be ruthless cutting out the fluff.
   
   
6. Master outlines are not helpful.
   
   
7. Outlines brainstormed on the fly in positions of stuckness are very helpful.
   
   
8. It's actually much harder to throw in obscene, bloodthirsty, salacious stuff when you know you have an audience. This means you're either a coward or deep down just a nice guy. It's something to think about as you pick your themes and topics in the future.
   
   
9. You should probably be a little bit worried by all of the obscene, bloodthirsty, salacious stuff that pops into your head when you're trying to figure out how to get a slow story moving again.
   
   
10. Page counts and wordcounts are useful at the beginning--they give you small goals to aim for along the way.
    
    
11. Formatted manuscripts have a lot of white space.
    
    
12. Page counts are almost useless in the endgame. Don't cheat the ending just because you've achieved your artificial math goal.
    
    
13. The most anxious times are when you're not writing. You probably won't believe this, but try to remember that you actually feel a lot better when you're writing than you do when you're pacing around thinking about writing.
    
    
14. Work on endurance so that you can sit in front of the computer longer. It's easy to quit and hard to start again.
    
    
15. Mornings are just awful. Get your shower, eat something, and get on with it. You'll feel better eventually.
    
    
16. You seem to be inspired by clever ideas more than engaging stories. That might be just the way you are as a writer, or it might be something to work on the next time you take a class.
    
    
17. Even the most basic editing takes more time than you imagine.
    
    
18. There is no such thing as too much editing.
    
    
19. Editing is actually kind of fun! Use it to redeem yourself from the awfulness of your writing, and you may actually walk away feeling good about yourself.

Warmest regards,

Now (AKA "Past") Jeff